RA

So....being an RA has definitely already caused me to be uncomfortable, unsure, and joyful as well. I have had some hard times feeling like I'm not the greatest RA because I am not the guy that gets everyone pumped on testosterone and hollering loud sounds. I have felt unsure about my ability to treat everyone with just as much concern and love and alos how to connect with some that are more quiet, or more loud, or more awkward. So I have definitely done my share of second guessing and beating myself up over not feeling present enough, or not saying the right things, or not handling a situation better. But, the promising thing is that I am learning and I am being stretched. Former RA's weren't kidding when they promised this would happen. But at the same time I have been incredibly encouraged by fellow staff members who have reminded me that I was chosen to be here with these men for some reason, whatever it may be, and although that is a lot to ask of me it is also comforting. A few of my guys have said very kind words such as, "I want to be an RA now like you," and "thanks so much for taking us to the beach and driving, it is really cool that you want to spend time with us and invest in us, it's pretty cool." A fellow staff member also said that he was thinking about RA's and said that if he could have an RA he would want someone like me. Those were some of the kindest words I know the Lord is giving me these things to sustain me or to remember when I won't fell recognize or when I am feeling bad about my RA abilities. With all this mental processing going on it is hard to be thinking a ton about classes or family or other things that may not be staring me right in the face, so I hope that things will calm down and that I will be able to do more things that I enjoy doing or be able to follow through on other things that I need to take care of. Pray for me, my section, and my ability to discern what to be adamant for or against and what things to let my residents find out on their own.