Tuesday, July 26, 2011

The Question

Have you ever asked yourself the question? You know that one question that will change the trajectory of your life forever? No, I am not talking about 'will you marry me'. The question I am referring to is: 'what do I want to do'. What do I really want to do? I know this may seem somewhat laconic, but the thoughts and emotions it exudes are not simple.

In my opinion this is one of the most disarming questions you could ask yourself. How many times in your life have you sat at the cusp of a major decision and felt lost? How many times have you played mental games to answer this query? Too many to count is my response. An answer to this simple phrase consistently eludes my grasp as I undulate between other such questions as: 'what are my gifts', 'what if what I want isn't good for me', and 'what if I don't get what I want'. You may feel the same.

I also find that evading this question is a typical mechanism I use to avoid digging further into myself. If I don't have to answer such a simple question, then maybe I won't have to think about the other questions in the previous paragraph. If I don't really have huge desires or wants, then there really isn't any room to fail, right? True, but if you don't have a want then how can you actually succeed?

At this point in my life I am in the midst of this frustrating question. I am not sure what I really want. Do I want to be a teacher? Do I want to be a counselor? Do I want to be both? Do I want to attend graduate school? These questions are swirling around in my head, and as I begin to answer one, another question arises that seeks to challenge it. Trust me, it is far more frustrating than you think - or maybe you know exactly what I mean.

My encouragement to you (and to myself) is to keep the question. Do not avoid this question, ever, for the rest of your life. I think a lot of people forgot that they could have wants and desires. They are stuck in a boring job or boring relationship and they are afraid to ask 'what do I want to do'. Don't let this be you and please don't let this be me.

So....what do you want to do?

Friday, July 22, 2011

My dog

Since I haven't blogged in quite some time, I figured it only appropriate to reenter this world with something profound. For those of you who dislike canines, this may not be profound, but for the rest of you out there (those loved most by God) you realize that getting a dog is, in fact, profound.

His name is _______ and here is his story. I was looking on craiglist for quite some time and and passed a multitude of dog "rehoming" posts. To my knowledge it is illegal to sell a dog on craiglist especially if it is lacking the proper shots, training, paperwork, etc. But, I stumbled across a post for a set a brothers who were half retriever and half black lab. They looked like great dogs, but I regretfully passed. A week went by and I wasn't having he greatest of luck, despite finding Sarge and checking him out. Sarge was a good dog, but he wasn't for me.

So, I patiently waited and sure enough the brothers had been reposted. So, I figured I would give them a shot. I emailed for more information and within two days had a call from Suzy. She runs a out-of-the-home animal shelter in a nearby town. I headed up there yesterday to talk with her and meet Cowboy (this is obviously no longer his name) and Dallas. Per my conversations with Suzy, I knew I would like ______ better so I decided to walk him first. He was perfect, despite the neurotic behavior and jumping up on me on multiple occasions :). I then walked Dallas, for about half as long before we headed back. Needless to say, Dallas was not my favorite.

I proceeded to shoot the shit with Suzy about the dogs' upbringing and their crazy owner who would fail to keep the under control or in the yard. She and her kids minimally trained them and threatened Suzy that she would just euthanize them unless Suzy took them in. There is more to the story, but that will suffice. After our conversation, I left feeling excited, but not 100% sure. So, being the thoughtful and patient person I am, I waited 24 hours to decide - that sounds appropriate for a drastic life change, right?

I called Suzy today, told her I was getting _________, went to Tree of Life (which I highly recommend) with Alanna and mom, worked out, bought pet supplies, went straight to Schlotsky's Deli, and drove 40 minutes to get _________. I was anxious, worried, semi-regretful, and stoked. We did the necessary paperwork, and I boosted ___________ into the back of my Honda. He watched out for about five minutes and laid down for the rest of the drive.

Fast-forward 3 hours and he has officially met Alanna and Trevor, successfully laid down, sat, laid on his bed, played ball, got brushed, did his duties, and is officially asleep on the floor next to me. I got lucky.

P.S. If you want to see pictures of him checkout my facebook at http://www.facebook.com/evengle. I am deciding whether to name him Captain and calling him Cap or Cap'n or Calvin and calling him Cal. If you want to vote, post on the facebook album or comment on this blog post!