Prayer

I would first like to start off by saying how very hard it is to think of one thing to write about from my day. This is frequently a very stressful and indecisive time for me as I sit in front of my computer pondering what was the funiest, saddest, or most impactful thing of the day. It is hard for me as I tend to bounce from thought to thought during the day and am a natural feeler. Things that may have affected at the time can tend to get lost in my braing forever as my emotions change. Although I am grateful for this character trait at times, it can also be pretty damn annoying. A case of this would be when my boss told me this morning, "it has been a pleasure having you here this summer. I just wanted you to know that." The emotions of surprise, gratefulness, and sincerity all filled my mind, and instead of acknowledging his kind words, I simply said, "thanks" as I walked away. "What a rude thing to respond with," I though as I went on my break. What about saying, "that means a lot, or I appreciate that or, it has with you as well". Not that a short response isn't great at times, but it reminded me a bit of my selfishness in not recognizing when others go maybe out of their way to say something kind and all I can do is say thanks or spend my day trying to beat their computer game scores. That was a bit of a sin check I thought.
But, going back to my feeling tendency, my emotions were quickly diverted, and if it weren't for this blog I may not have processed why I felt bad about that previous interaction. Moving on however, I was walking up to the post office as I do during each of my breaks, killing time, and pretending like there is even the slightest chance I might have mail (which I did http://www.arbonne.com/products/fyi/face/index.asp and they were female skin products...how sad) and I passed the Santa Barbara independent bearing the cover about the recent fires in Goleta. I got excited as I skimmed through it to find the days crossword puzzle, and another article caught my eye. This article was about the Fourth of July stabbings on Cabrillo. It said that there was one killed who was killed and two others who were injured. The scary thing about it is that I was in between the locations of the death and the injuries only about 3 miles apart. Cop cars were blaring as I walked back to our site on by the beach and they were speeding west to east. I remeber thinking how scary it was and giving an honest yet very half-assed prayer saying I hope nobody was too injured. I also thought how scary it was for the people crossing the street not knowing when a cop car would come flying through a red light. I was in essence thinking more about my own comfort than that of the mere kids who were in physical pain. Did I not think that something bad really could happen so close? Did I not think it was important to take 5 minutes to pray for the whole scene? It was not only saddened by my thoughts of arrogance as I walked past a group of people who were being questioned by the cops after the firework display, but I was also saddened by my lack of care. I have started learning more about the power of prayer through Richard Foster's The Celebration of Discipline, and here was a perfect opportunity to really pray and believe it and hope that God would do something. I am careful to say my prayer would have really affected the situation, but aren't there examples of stories just like that in the bible. Who's to say that if more people prayed ardent and honest prayers of intercession during that time that the boys would not have been kept from pain and death?
I can only hope and hold onto the truth that God will make something beautiful out of this disaster, the one visible and the one invisible and hidden in my heart.